


when you know damn well that this is all wrong

by trolljim (starconsequence)



Category: Tales of Arcadia (Cartoons)
Genre: :) ouch, Angst, Book Spoilers, One Shot, Present Tense, Whump, barbara lake angor rot aaarrrgghh draal and vendel are mentioned, here u go more pain for our boy, its a crime we didnt get like five seasons of trollhunters, mentions of body horror?, season 3 trollhunters spoilers, spoilers for angor rot reborn, the amulet gets several things explored in the books
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:14:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26356300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starconsequence/pseuds/trolljim
Summary: Jim contemplates things as he stumbles home, in pain and exhausted from Merlin's Elixer, shoved into the bones of a body that's still growing.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 24





	when you know damn well that this is all wrong

**Author's Note:**

> title from muse's soldier's poem

Jim hiccups, sniffing back tears as he sobbed in the quiet dark. The world crashes down upon his shoulders again, giving away under the strain of a future he can't bear alone. His bones weary and aching as he shudders through what he _prays_ is the last of it.

His fight against Angor Rot and the use of dazzling Moonlight has drained him of what little energy he has left – further sapped by how his head pounds with the weight of twin horned cornucopias arching back along his head in waves.

Jim takes stock of what's different with what brain power he has left: hard nails, enough to chip away at gems; two horns, two large fangs where his bottom canines once stood, a wider chest that once felt so constricted by Daylight's silver, and a tired confidence burning in his bones. He knew he has blue skin, but he can't tell much past that. He still hid from his reflection, ashamed by the choice.

It's amazing that he's had enough energy to return borrowed stones to the museum before stumbling home. He can't use Moonlight – he needs Eclipse's sword to reap the end of Gunmar after all, as it's his destiny. Jim's still amazed he's conscious.

The world shakes beneath his feet in a shuddering gasp – prelude to the war he's knighted to.

Blue eyes remain the most human about him, and somehow the tears can still fall, glittering drops that are numbered, to be stilled when blood quickens and falls to soak the earth with the crumble of living stone. His heart aches with loss, all the recent death and tragedy harkens back to the play.

Romeo and Juliet's acted deaths were years ago to his new living stone body, and he wishes for that naivety – when Draal and Vendel still live, and he's yet to bear his biggest mistake of entering the Darklands alone.

He did not want another friend to pass on to where Trolls left to at their demise, whatever end wasn't the heroes' void home. AAARRRGGHH!!!'s temporary death still leaves a bile in his mouth, and it blends with the sour notes left by Draal and Vendel – both too soon.

And it's why he's now more monster than mortal.

Jim's thanking every star, every deity and every guardian that watches over him from somewhere else that he doesn't just collapse outside somewhere to rot, but manages to barge home. He hears his mother's shout, her footsteps towards him.

He feels the floor upon his cheek as he collapses, Eclipse's anger spinning forth to protect him from the emotions that were about to hit like a tsunami, pulling back from the shores of his mind in an ebony blanket.

**Author's Note:**

> i recently read through all six trollhunters novellas, the felled, and arcadia-con. im burning up over this please send help 
> 
> also im working on like, three series right now - i'll come forward about my changeling jim work that i have five chapters of a draft up and i'm working on properly outlining and detailing my plan of action, and then i have two others i'm not saying anything about.
> 
> all of this and i'm editing _ive got to find my soul all before i sleep_ still.
> 
> the trollhunters brainrot is _real_


End file.
